Let’s chat about a phrase that’s worn out its welcome in Facebook groups—“Delete if not allowed.” If you’ve ever typed delete if not allowed in Facebook groups, it’s okay! You’re not alone. But let’s talk about why it’s time to retire that phrase for good, especially in community-focused spaces like POSH.
What You’re Really Saying (Even If You Don’t Mean To)
When someone writes “Admin please delete if not allowed” in a post, it might seem polite on the surface—but what it actually communicates is this:
“I didn’t take the time to learn the community I’m posting in.”
That phrase, whether intended or not, tells the group and its admins that you’re bypassing the basic social etiquette of checking the rules, learning the group’s tone, or engaging with the community before dropping in your content. It feels a bit like walking into a party and shouting over the music without first saying hello. It’s jarring—and it can come off as careless.
Community Isn’t a Free-for-All
POSH, like many intentional online communities, is built on consent culture. We aren’t just a collection of people in the same digital space—we’re a group that values mutual respect, shared norms, and collective participation. Just like you wouldn’t barge into someone’s bedroom at a house party without knocking (as we explain in our Consent-Positive Community Guide), you shouldn’t barge into a group’s feed without first checking whether your post fits the vibe.
Delete If Not Allowed in Facebook Groups Won’t Help Your Reach
Not only does this phrase make a bad impression, it might also hurt your post’s performance. People are less likely to interact with a post that feels like it’s violating the community’s boundaries. In a worst-case scenario, your post could get deleted—not because of the content, but because of the flag that says “I didn’t care enough to check the rules.”
What To Do Instead
Here’s what we recommend instead of typing that lazy little line:
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Read the group’s rules. Yes, all of them. Yes, even if you think you already know.
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Observe before you post. Take a few days to get a feel for what’s normal, what’s welcome, and what gets strong engagement.
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Ask first. If you’re not sure your post is a good fit, reach out to an admin or mod with a quick message: “Hey, I was thinking of posting XYZ—does that align with group rules?”
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Respect the collective consent. If the rules don’t enthusiastically say “yes,” assume it’s a no until you’re told otherwise.
Personal Brand Tip: Think Before You Post
Your posts in Facebook groups are part of your personal brand. Every comment, every thread, every post—it’s how people get to know you, decide whether they want to connect with you, and whether they want to invite you into their lives or networks. Showing that you understand and respect the community culture helps build trust, credibility, and connection.
When you post without checking in first—and tag it with “delete if not allowed”—you’re saying that your voice matters more than the group’s agreed-upon norms. That’s not a great look, especially in a space built on enthusiastic consent and mutual respect.
Final Thought
Treat Facebook groups like the living rooms of your community, not a bulletin board at a grocery store. Introduce yourself. Learn the house rules. Bring snacks, not spam. And definitely stop saying “delete if not allowed.”
We see you. We want to get to know you. And we want you to stick around—so let’s start with a little respect.
Please share your thoughts on this topic in the group discussion!